Nearing the End

I had my last check up with Children's Hospital yesterday.  Next step--birth. 

The baby's fluid levels are still normal, however, his kidneys are a little more dilated than they have been in the past.  They also found trace amounts of fluid surrounding his heart.  So, what was supposed to be a quick ultrasound turned into an all day affair.  After 2 echocardiograms and a meeting with the pediatric cardiologist, we think that there is nothing new to worry about.  The doctor said that the extra fluid around the heart may be due to the problems with the kidneys and how he is so scrunched up inside of me.  He doesn't even think that we need a follow up after birth because the fluid amount was so mild, but I am sure that we will get one anyway.

My meeting with the urologist was a little different this time.  Normally it's a quick update on the fluid level, answer some questions, and set up the next appointment.  This time, Dr. Lee told me that his kidneys look more dilated and that could be from a change or because the baby just peed and it refluxed back into the kidneys.  His next statement caught me by surprise, "I think it's about time for this baby to come out."

Wow.  My high risk doctor will work with Dr. Lee and I will probably be induced next week or the following week.  I am 36 weeks now, so I do have a term baby and delivering next week isn't that much earlier than I delivered Lincoln.  Whereas I knew that there was still a chance that I would need to be induced and even kind of hoped that I would deliver next week (to keep Plan A of babysitters for Lincoln), it still kind of hit me hard.  Relief that I will finally hold my sweet boy as well as utter terror that we will be leaving the comfort of a complicated but consistent pregnancy and head back into the unknown.  I am so scared of being induced and giving birth again, but even more scared to hear the results and find out just how bad this little guy's kidneys actually are. 

This little guy was using the placenta as a pillow--that's what all that floaty stuff around him is.

On my way out, I got a brief NICU tour at Children's, although our baby will probably start over at the Brigham.  It was heart breaking to see row after row of baby lying in their hospital beds.  That poor nurse who showed me around.  I am sure that I am not the first mother to cry thinking about my sweet little boy lying in one of those beds when all I want is to hold him and have him sleep in my room with me.  I don't know how long I will get to hold him before he is taken away from me, but the nurse told me to have Chris take lots of pictures so I can look at them until I am able to go down and see him for myself. 

So, once more, Chris and I ask you to keep this sweet little baby in your thoughts and prayers.  I have leaned on Chris and so many friends and family throughout this pregnancy and I think that I could use all of your support now more than ever.  Thank you for helping us through this journey thus far.  We will try to do another update when this little guy is born, and hopefully home from the hospital.

 My favorite picture so far.  I love his little fingers that are almost always up by his face.