I AM Pregnant

When I first got the news about this baby -- the no hope news -- the doctor said and I quote, "You may look pregnant and you may feel pregnant..."  Well, as offended as I was, he was right.  I DO look pregnant and with this little guy rolling and kicking all of the time, I DO feel pregnant.

But, he was wrong about one thing-- I AM pregnant.  I am not just carrying a "fetus," I am carrying a baby.  MY baby.  Chris and I are so grateful for Boston Children's Hospital and the hope that the doctors brought with them.  As soon as we told them we intended to fight for this baby, they rolled up their sleeves and said, "Let's get to work."

Currently, I am 26 weeks along and we have passed a very important landmark, one we thought we might not reach.  This baby is viable.  That means that if he were to be delivered right now, he would have a shot at living.  This week, his odds are up to roughly 80%.  I got my fluid levels checked last week and they are within normal range (which has been the main concern for us right now).  Chris and I have dropped all talk of "but what if..." and starting to look towards our future with hope.  We are planning out when to wash the newborn clothes again and stock up on diapers, where to put the bassinet, who is going to watch Lincoln that night, etc.  We are so grateful for the continued prayers of friends and family and know that the miracles that have been occurring these past 6 weeks are largely due to you all. 

And, I think I do look pregnant.  I think pregnant women are perhaps the most beautiful women out there and when I was pregnant with Lincoln, even at 38 weeks, I convinced myself that I didn't look pregnant.  Now, I think I do (at least when I am standing up) and I love it.

Stable is good

Brief Update: No news is good news!

The amniotic fluid levels are still within normal range, so the doctors are feeling hopeful about this little guy making it to this world.  He is looking at a couple of immediate surgeries and probably some time in the NICU, but we are so, so hopeful!

I think he's getting cuter.

The Full Report:

The little squirt and I went back for more extensive probing and pictures at Children’s Hospital today.  I lay on that little ultrasound table for nearly an hour and a half and watched him the whole time.  He was moving around, rolling and kicking for pretty much the entire session.  He likes to keep his hands up around his face and even tucked them into his neck.  I got a great shot of his nose and little nostrils today, which was really cute.  Currently, he is estimated to weigh about a pound. 

His fluid levels are within the normal range.  He has 13 cm of fluid (normal is 8-20ish for this time in pregnancy).  This is what they are monitoring most closely right now because of the impact the fluid has on lung development.

The little guy’s kidneys look much the same as last time.  We were able to see that the cysts that he has on the right side seem to be localized to the top portion of the kidney, which is what we were hoping for.  It looks like the top portion of the right kidney is in pretty terrible shape and might be what is causing all of the problems for the rest of the urinary system.  The bottom of the right kidney is doing a little better and although it is still dilated, Dr. Lee speculated that it might just be the kidney’s compensatory strategy to deal with the top portion of the kidney and that it might be doing better off than we thought.  We did find out that the left kidney is also a duplex kidney, meaning this kidney also has 2 ureters coming down and draining into the bladder on that side as well.  This kidney is not in great shape, but it’s working okay for now.  No ureteroceles or cysts on this side, which is great news.  Both the tissue in the bladder and kidneys (with the possible exception of the top right portion) look really good.  The tough thing about kidneys is that we can’t really track how they are functioning until the baby is born.  So, for now, we will mostly be meeting with the urologist (who is looking at the overall running of the urinary system and making sure urine is exiting) and then we will be following up closely with the nephrologist when the baby is born and throughout his life.  He is the one who would decide if and when the baby would need dialysis or a transplant.

Chris and I were elated when we left.  We even celebrated by going out to dinner.  Whereas a lot of people may still be devastated that their baby’s kidneys have such an uncertain future, we are so filled with hope.  I guess once you hit rock bottom, anything that sounds like a chance really lifts you up.  And while we may still have a rough road ahead of us, we are choosing to look at the bright side (which is so unlike me).  We are so grateful for the prayers and support we have received and want to say—Don’t stop now!  I really believe that the Lord is blessing us with good fluid levels and stable progression and is answering the many prayers being prayed in our behalf.

*We do a fluid check in 2 weeks and go back to Children’s in a month. 

 If you look closely, there is his hand, always right up next to his face (on the right).